Dark Angel

As i sit alone in the darkness
with a mind hovering on many aspects of my life
I realise that life's turns have taken me by surprise
When did i walk down this lonely road
So dark and still
where i see only shadows , shadows of my past
no clue about where i go
no direction to follow
when did it become so hard to live
when did the pain seep in that i no longer could breathe
when did i start waking up at night , hoping it was all just a dream
looking for comfort where there was none to be found
so i reach out a hand to be pulled out of this mess
silence is all i'm greeted with......

Life is scarier....

Hmmm... one would think that this new phase in life is exciting..... OMG!!!! My first job!!!! ah... the first few days were bliss... nothing to do... nowhere to go.... unlimited internet access... one went beserk.. if this is work, god your kind.... :) .. My life was in the fast lane.. one whole month and counting... people still asking me as to why a biotech student would want to take up an ad sales job!! poles apart.. some satisfied with my answers and some just clueless... coming to clueless.. thats how i was during my vacation after i finished college.. no college to go to anymore.. so now what??!!! CLUELESS!!!! let me tell you that it wasn't a pleasant feeling... I felt that life was going nowhere.. then suddenly opportunities sprung and i jumpedinto the deep dark well called the real world where people just want results... otherwise you can consider yourself out!! Here you do make friends , but they are your competition as well... while studying one definately faced competition but one always knew that they wouldn't be thrown out for not performing top of the class!! Here its different.... If you don't perform, your out!!!!! Hence.. Life is scarier!!! One has to step carefully, forget leaping.... coming to my work.. I have got to sell ad space in a lifestyle magazine.... Cosmopolitan... ha ha I thought it would be cake walk.. I mean who wouldn't want their ad in that magazine.. come to think of it now.. many!!!! :( I'm only two months old to this but i already know that 'granted' is a word which will no longer exist in my dictionary.... and 'persuation' is a skill i really need to work on....

Chapter 1

Finally I have decided to write a blog, I never thought i would be able to express myself in words [few or many] . I have started writing this one as I have started a new phase in my life.... Welcome to the real world.....!!! I can't believe the time has come to start working... It feels like yesterday when mom left me outside the playschool gate.. ha ha imagine sending a child to play school at 1 and a half yr... oh god!! now I tell ma that it was a criminal thing to do.. no wonder I was made to sit of the swing where all the 'Cry - Babies ' sat.... as I got adjusted to that it was time to leave and join nursery.. the school gates used to be huge and it felt like jail... [ memories courtesy ma dearest, can't remember clearly what i did a month back itself :) ] . Then it was time to leave and in Gwalior i made new friends... which was a very difficult thing to do as a kid because i was such an introvert... would love to play on my own and be on my own.... I was pretty much a loner.. anyway i vividly remember my mom yelling at me for coming home on my own one day, [ I was 4 and the kid i brought along with me was 3 yrs] , my school was a 5 minute walk away from home but the fact that i took responsibility for a younger kid was the problem... Then it was time to move again, this time Nagpur... I really started liking school there, it was set amidst the hills.. made some more new friends.. everytime leaving behind the old.. losing touch.... My first and last Holi was played here because after that i realisd i was allergic to those colours.... so there goes fun out of the window.. The final destination was Bangalore, i was still 6 yrs as i have always been 6 months younger to my class, well had an amazing time at cottons... made some great friends.... right from 2nd standard till 10th... time flew by.. a few more farewells... new friends to be made in puc.... luckily these friends lasted..... it was then fast forward to college... many memories... many friends.... and now suddenly I'm standing at the threshold of a new phase.. which is beckoning me but I simply can't let go of the past........ Now i guess i truly understand what the elders meant when they said "have fun and enjoy life.. you don't want to start working and have additional responsibilities" but i always thought they were kidding.. oh boy!! how wrong i was....